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Hi.

Thanks for stopping by.  This is my invitation into my life, work, and our collective creativity, love, and kindness.  I hope you enjoy your time here.  

YOUR VOICE

YOUR VOICE

Honoring the diversity of our strength

Your Voice is a poem that I wrote during the election season after having a conversation with a Trump supporter. It was a respectful conversation, and we left agreeing to disagree. However, the tone of his words and the message he was seeking to convey shifted something in me. He wasn't disrespectful or unkind, but he was pushy and mildly arrogant. It all left me thinking about how we define strength. 

Andrew and I made an appointment last week to go in a sensory deprivation tank. (Great article on these here) We have a few weeks before this adventure will happen, but in talking with friends about it, I realized that maybe I should be more afraid than I am. Several responded, "It sounds terrifying to be alone with your thoughts for a full hour." The comments left me thinking about how we define strength.

Andrew and I were on a date Saturday night talking about how people find it terrifying to contemplate being alone with their thoughts for a full hour. At the same time, we both said some version of, "I feel like my whole life is being alone with my thoughts." The disconnect of our experiences and other people's experiences of thoughts and aloneness left me thinking about how we define strength.

I am scared about what will happen in the sensory deprivation tank but not because of my thoughts. I have gone deep within myself. I have recognized and owned the intensity and the contradiction. I have found myself completely bewildered by how much compassion and judgment I can feel and experience in one moment. I am not afraid of what is within me. I know there is so much good that it would blow your mind, and so much bad that it would terrify you, and so much of both that it would make you feel less alone and more okay with your humanness. I am still scared though, because it is unknown and I hate giving up control. 

There is an easiness in being loud and right, in convincing ourselves and others that we are in control and have the answers, in only honoring and presenting the confident goodness of ourselves. But loud and right and controlled do not necessarily equal strong. Strength is going deep. 

I love the gym. Last week, I was lifting weights next to a ripped guy. I have been pushing myself a little bit more lifting and was doing a heavier set of bicep curls the same time that he was doing bicep curls. My weights were 5 lbs heavier than his. He was loud and grunty. I was quiet and controlled (for once in my life). Loud and showy do not equal strong. Strength is not necessarily the appearance of perfection and having all the answers.

It is easy to question ourselves when our strength doesn't look how we typically define it. 

Honor the diversity of strength. 

YOUR VOICE

your voice is louder but mine is stronger

i believe in nonviolence
against our babies and elders
against our innocent and guilty
against our believers and non believers
whatever that means because we all believe in something

your voice is louder but mine is stronger

i believe in preservation
of history and the future
of faith and the earth
of soul and the body
because i believe all things means all things

your voice is louder but mine is stronger

i believe in strength
of women and men
of status quo and deviance
of black and white
because it makes me uncomfortable to be right but it makes me more uncomfortable to hide

your voice is louder but mine is stronger

i believe in fear
within and with out
hidden and blatant
rising and rising
may we not let it have the last word

your voice is louder but mine is stronger

i believe in mystery
in paradox and paradigm
in change and uncertainty
in black and white
and grey

i trust my strength because i honor my ignorance
i trust my strength because the voice of self preservation is palpable
i trust my strength because love is greater than fear

 

Photo by:
Matthew Koslocki: https://unsplash.com/@matthew

THIS IS AMERICA.

THIS IS AMERICA.

WHAT'S IT LIKE TO BE YOU?

WHAT'S IT LIKE TO BE YOU?

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