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Hi.

Thanks for stopping by.  This is my invitation into my life, work, and our collective creativity, love, and kindness.  I hope you enjoy your time here.  

BACK TO THE TREE.

BACK TO THE TREE.

 

i am light as a feather, carrying the weight of the world
don’t think i’m your average girl
when my mind starts to swirl

sometimes it’s sparkles, sometimes it’s gold,
sometimes i start to believe
that we’re all in this alone
sometimes it’s less like a swirl
and more like a tree
i am balanced and rooted,
dreaming wild and free
and it feels good to be me
doused in creativity

my roots hold strong to the ground, connected and deep
awakening from the disarray of my disenchanted sleep
and i notice my place, in this magical space

i honor my roots,
and reach to the sky with my grace


i am pulled in two directions, in the most spiritual way
at home in the tension, somehow i end up okay

sometimes it’s less like a tree, and more like a punch to my chest
betrayal causing distress
like my life is a test

and this place is hard to leave
because i don’t know my fate
and i don’t feel great
and i am starting to sweat
because i don’t know the next step
i don’t have any plans yet
and what if i’m late
to the next thing in store
because i have been here before,
looking around,
watching the people pass by
and while they don’t see me
i am watching them leave,
which is starting to feel like a theme
they’re looking real put together
and really light like a feather
not carrying the weight of the world
and so my mind starts to swirl

this time each swirl is a question
and i have so many questions,
so
many
questions

and so few answers
until all of a sudden, i turn into a dancer
and i start to flow and create,
questionably at first
and it kind of feels like the worst

a sea of ambiguity
most of the time i’m questioning me
but i started the dance,
it’s too beautiful to quit
and i’m kind of into it

but then i start to remember that i don’t know four steps ahead
and all that i want
is to go back to bed
but i know from the past

there is no escaping my head

anxiety’s running deep
feels like i’m getting ready to crash
or run out of gas
and i lost my road map

and my compass,
and maybe even my vision
but not just my sight,

i really can’t see
i don’t know what to trust
i don’t know who to be,
and i try to be me
but that gets sucked in to the sea
of ambiguity

but i couldn’t give up on the dance
despite the fear and pressure
i put one foot in front of the other
but it wasn’t a straight line
because dancing never is

life is never a straight line

so i probably got wild and a little too riled
and a little bit crazy,
and a little too much, but it always feels hazy
so i kept moving my feet, trusting the direction
letting go of perfection
getting lost in the connection
and this time it felt different,

it was deeper and taller

more rooted and grounded,

honestly, i kind of feel like a baller
because i danced back to the tree

and my emotions are free,
and i feel okay
like this is the only possible way

like the words are sacred

and they fall to the page, like the leaves are falling from the trees

like it is my offering

like it is a beautiful mix of a
puzzle and flow

and i watch my dreams unfold

like the streets turn to gold
from the color and sparkle from my mind in the swirl
never being a typical girl
too caught up in my own inner world
still kind of dizzy from the twirl
of the beautiful dance
but i keep taking a chance
by taking a step
even though i don’t have any plans yet

and the elusive map is still missing
and i’m still wishing and waiting
for a compass, a guidebook, a mathematical equation

anything to control

a mysterious situation

but i made it back to the tree
where i am more centered and free
grounded and rooted
in the bliss of all it could be.

yet i am still a bit sad
for all the time that i lost
in the swirl and confusion,
the entangled illusion
handing over my vision
having it stolen from me
and the lies that i believed

but mostly, i’m grateful
that they all played their part
harmoniously
to lead me back to the tree.

ROOTS AND MESSES

ROOTS AND MESSES

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